| FMA and NETC |
[March 10, 2009 @ 10:49pm] |
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So, I got myself caught up watching Full Metal Alchemist. I watched the series off and on when it was on TV but never all the way through so I figured I'd watch it. I am only on episode 15 right now and I remember all these episodes so apparently I've watched all of these. I am looking forward to the episode I haven't seen yet. On other notes I am getting ready for my audition on Sunday. I worked on my monologue with Naomi today so now I am on the right track with it. I am gonna work on it more tomorrow and then on thursday and friday as well. Saturday I won't have time to work on anything since I am the one driving to Boston. I am actually looking forward to it though. I highly enjoy driving. Plus, just being up there and being around so many other people who are artists will be an awesome experience. The trip to Maryland with Dan, Jen and Greta was a fun one so I am expecting this one to be fun as well. The only thing I am not looking forward to is sharing a bed with Jen. I am just really bad with dharing beds because I can be a bit of a sprawler. I also hate moving around too much when I am sharing a bed because I don't want to disturb the person I am sharing the bed with so I get stuck feelin uncomfortable. Ah well, After driving for 6 hours I am sure I'll just want to pass right out.
I am starting to get nervous about Sunday. I feel so unprepared! It's probably because I haven't timed out what I am doing and I hate going into something without knowing EVERYTHINg and I mean EVERYTHING will be perfect. Heh. It's funny, I am not a perfectionist about many things but having to know how things will go is something that I am anal about. Oh well, there's not a whole lote I can do about that kind of stuff. Anyway, I am off to watch more FMA.
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| 18-20 manning Naxaramas |
[March 07, 2009 @ 11:53pm] |
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So, last night my guild decided to run it's first 25 man Naxx. We ran into an issue though, We only had 21 people on. Well, deciding it was at least worth the shot we went in and took a shot at Anub'Rekhan and downed him in one go. Alrighty then, that wasn't all that hard. Long, yes, but hard, no. So, onto the next the boss. Grand Widow Faerlina was also a one shot boss. Ok, so it's an easy wing, right? Onto the third boss, Maexxna, and we wipe. No problem, In traditional Soaring Phoenix style we take another wack at her, and down her. Now at this point we have lost a few people and were down to 18 people. So with 18 people we decide to attempt the Plague quarter.
We down the gargoyles without any issues and head to Noth the Plaguebringer. Half the raid wiped due to lack of curse removal. The other half that survive manage to get him down to 20% so that gave us hope that we could kill him. We rebuff and head back in and down him, but just barely. So, deciding to try our luck we head off to the dance party hosted by Heigan the Unclean. We manage to one shot him...after 15 minutes! A long fight, with half the raid wiping after the first two 'dances' but we manage to take him down. Nowyou must be thinking, 'surely they weren't idiotic enough to attempt Lotheb' and I must reply, 'yes we are'. So we proceed foreward, the big 'ol 18 of us and wipe the first attemp on Lotheb. HAving gotten him down pretty far, (around 15%) we decide to give it one last attempt before calling it for the night. So we all buff up, run the gauntlet, and head in to fight the bos. Funny thing that happens, our one priest gets knocked out of the room when the doors shut, so we are 17 manning the boss now! Well as it goes, our priest being knocked out was apparently good luck because after 15-20 mins we down Lotheb with a little more than half the raid still alive. So, <Soaring Phoenix> had quite the fun last night. How could we not with our first attempt at a 25 man being done with 18-20 people? We only cleared 2 wings, yes, but we considered that quite an achievement for our first solo run. Whoot! Grats <Soaring Phoenix>!
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| All Moved In |
[August 24, 2008 @ 11:53am] |
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anxious |
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Well I am all moved into my dorm. I do have to say having a single is absolutely amazing, not to mention the room I am in is gorgeous! It's the perfect size and has two nice windows. The room is also located in a little corner of the house so I don't have to worry about annoying neighbors or anything. I only have 1 double near me and the bathroom right next to me. It's really nice and the house itself is huge and only has about 12 girls living in it which is a plus.
Oh! Last night I went to see Rascal Flatts and Taylor Swift. It was a fricken AWESOME concert! I had a blast with Mo and Chris and the music was just fabulous. There were only a few songs that I didn't -really- know. Otherwise I recognized or could sing all the songs that were played. It was a nice way to finish off the summer.
Onto other matters, seems my anxiety isn't really getting all that better. I wake up in the morning, usually before 7:00, completely exhausted, but I can't ever go back to sleep because my anxiety is just absolutely ridiculous. I resorted to pulling out my DS this morning to play some games in hopes of getting myself to relax after I took some of my medication. I eventually calmed down enough that I could crawl out of bed and do some things. As the time goes by I am feeling better though so that's a good thing. I am going to call my doctor tomorrow and see about getting my prescription uped a bit.
Otherwise, things are going well. First auditions are on Tuesday so I've got to go and pick up the audition scenes and take a look at them. Well, first I got to finish reading the play which won't take me long since I only have 1 more scene to read through. I'll do that when I go over to get my parking pass.
Well, seeing as I have a good bit to do today and a party to get ready for tonight I shoudl shove off and get stuff done.
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| Mmmmm......Better |
[August 15, 2008 @ 8:22am] |
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So, as it turns out, I am doing better since my last post. I am not nearly as anxious as I've been. Still have a slight underlaying anxiety going on but nothing that really stops me from doing stuff. It seems to be the worst in the morning and then just gets better as the day goes a long. It's weird though. My mind and body have been dealing with the anxiety constantly for a month now so at times it almost seems like I am -trying- to come up with something to make me anxious. It's...annoying and somewhat frustrating. I mean, I'll finally be calm and relaxed and then my mind feels odd like that so I begin to think about stuff that -will- make me anxious. I've usually been able to just shove those thoughts aside though.
I am looking forward to moving back into school next Saturday. It can't happen soon enough in my opinion. I just want to be up there and busy with things again. I've finally gotten bored with the summer living. LOL
Onto WoW business. I've set myself a goal. Before I start classes on the 25th, I want to have the 100 badges I need to get me my new pants. I am about 25 badges away from them so it shouldn't be too hard. Just gotta run some heroics and Kara. I am even trying to see if I can get in a pug for another raid. I feel like my gear is finally good enough that I could maybe, at least, get into a pug for ZA. I am trying. :)
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| Anxiety Woes |
[August 13, 2008 @ 9:43am] |
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So yea...it's that time of year where people are getting ready for school and all the excitement of seeing friends again and starting another school year will be the forefront of a lot of people's thoughts. Not for me...
As is per usual, this time of year ALWAYS triggers my anxiety. I am not sure why really, but it does. I've been dealing with it now for about 2-3 weeks straight but only recently it's gotten bad (Last week or so). I've gone back to my doctor and have gotten back on Zoloft for it. I am at a low dosage (50mg) right now but I may have to up it. It takes 2 weeks for the stuff to kick in and I've only been on it for a week today. It should, hopefully, be kicked in for next Saturday when I move back to school. The whole situation just sucks though. I mean, really, I haven't even been able to enjoy playing WoW which tells me that my anxiety is pretty bad. When I get to the point that I want to do nothing but sit in the house and watch TV constantly (Mainly HGTV, dunno why) and completely fear the idea of getting on the computer then I've got issues. I did manage to pull myself onto the comp today though in hopes of finding some anxiety communities that maybe have tips and what-not for relaxation. I found one here on LJ and another I googled. So hopefully those will help me a bit. I've noticed that the biggest relaxation tip is meditation. Unfortunately I am terrible at meditating. My mind is so hyperactive that I can't just relax like that.
Besides my anxiety fucking me over I am doing alright. I am getting myself ready for school. I think I have everything I need and now I just need to get myself organized and decide what I am taking with me this year since I have a rather small single. Oh well, a single is a single and I am glad I won't have to deal with a roomie this year. I have such a crazy schedule that having a roommate just doesn't work anymore.
Well, seeing at I've been up since 7:00 (since I am not sleeping well now) I should probably get dressed and start working on something instead of wasting the whole day away watching TV.
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| Almost there! |
[July 23, 2008 @ 9:37am] |
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Yep! I reached 4k today and I have all intentions on getting my epic flyer now. I was unsure for a bit whether getting the flyer now would be a good idea or not but I've talked to several people and most have said that since I am so close, I might as well get the epic because I'll be able to farm things much faster to make up the gold. Once the gold is made up I'll be able to REALLY focus on my gear. I'd like to get Soyala completely in purples before school starts at the end of August so that will be my next goal. Then once school starts I can begin worrying about enchants and other things to improve my gear even more.
So, change of subject, I didn't end up getting a key for the Beta...yet. I was hoping I'd get one. I thought it would be a hoot to play around out there and test out the new hunter abilities as well as the new Death Knight class. I am very much a fan of playing ranged DPS classes but the DK might actually catch my interest enough that I may try and play one. There's also that little factor that I won't have to start out at lvl 1 either which, in my opinion, is a major perk. From watching the videos Unholy looks like the most interesting spec to me, but we'll just have to wait and see what happens during the beta and how much they tweak the DK. For now, I am just gonna go and farm my way to my epic! Whoot!
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| 'Ello Again! |
[July 21, 2008 @ 9:27am] |
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I am terrible with updating this blog. I dunno why cause I do want to blog about Wow and my life. Hell, a college student managing her time for her last year at college and playing WoW should be an interesting thing to blog about. Lord know what's going to happen when classes start up. I may not be able to raid anymore, which will kill me, I swear it. The last thing I want to do is log on every night/morning/whenever I manage to find time and only be able to maybe run a heroic and farm stuff.I'll need a little more than that to keep myself interested in the game for the long period of time that is the school year. I guess I could finish gathering up gold for my epic flyer but I'll eventually reach that goal.
The good thing about school this year though is that I will have my own bedroom which means my WoW time isn't going to be ruled to when my roommate goes to bed like it was last year. THANK GOD! I don't think I could have handled another year of it, not when I've found myself even more addicted to WoW. I guess finally having a 70 to raid makes one more interested in the game, I dunno.
Already school is creeping up on me and I've -yet- to go talk to my partner about our Senior Project! We have to put on a full show ourselves but...well...I just dunno what to do! I mean, it would probably help if we got together and brainstormed stuff. I just don't want to think about that yet, but I know I have to if I am going to start getting things together for it. Bah!
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| Been A While |
[May 07, 2008 @ 12:14pm] |
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It's been a long time since I've posted here. There's a lot to update you on since the last time I posted. Let's see....how about I start with RL stuff first then head into WoW things.
I had my last final today...well...I should say I was suppose to have my last final today but the professor never showed up for the final. 0.o So the Dean said that we'd be excused form it so that was a nice thing to happen. I wasn't really ready to perform the scene that was due. Um...all my classes went well this semester over all...as long as you don't count Script Analysis (which is the final I was suppose to have today). That class was just pure hell and seeing as I don't want to turn this post into a rant, I'll just stop there. I -finally- have an idea with what I am doing for my capstone which is awesome. That's a big load of stress off my chest now. Yea, still didn't find a guy, but oh well. LOL Onto WoW stuff because we all know that it's more interesting.
I pretty much left the server of Nazgrel including my lvl 65 Hunter who is now just collecting dust at an inn in Nagrand. I not have a lvl 59 Hunter on a PvP server, Haomarush and I am much happier there. PvP server make the game that much more fun and interesting. I have quite a few RL friends on that server as well so that's a perk. It's funny how this stuff turns out. I am one of the people that got Chris interested in WoW and then he pulls Maureen (his GF) in and Chris and I both pulled Pete in and Tim was already a member. It's kinda nice!
We were all part of a raiding guild called Reviction but as it turned out the guild started to go downhill and people began to leave. So, the five of us decided to create our own guild. We dubbed it Soaring Phoenix because we are pretty much coming out of the ashes of one guild to create this one. A few member from Reviciton decided to join us so now we're just one happy family. SP is a new guild but we're not doing too badly. We're definitly not going to be hitting Gruuls anytime soon (Considering we have SFK and SM scheduled on Group Calender right now) but we're all having fun so that's all that matters. If anyone is interested in learning more about Soaring Phoenix I whipped together a guild website. We do have a tabard, 3 guild tabs and vent so we're set for recruiting. ;)
If you want you can also grab me or Chris on the server (Haomarush) I go by Soyala and he's on either Zolk or Gibs. Feel free to PST me anytime!
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| Quick update |
[January 09, 2008 @ 12:14am] |
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It's past midnight, I am slowly starting to crash but I am not tired enough to to want to call it a night so here's a quick update of stuff.
WoW is a little on the slow side. I dinged 61 the other night and I am only a few blocks into the lvl. I have so many quests to do that I just don't know where to start so it's slowing me down a bit. I think I've finally decided to respec to 41/20/0 BM Hunter. I just need to get rid of and move a few points around so it won't be -too- costly to respec, thankfully. On the gear topic I am doing rather well there. I have quite a bit of good blue items and I am working on getting more. The only thing that could -really- help me now would be to get into some raids for the bigger instances but I doubt that will happen seeing as I am the 3rd highest lvled char in the guild at lvl 61. The other two above me at two 70's, one of which is an alt.
And onto some rather...random stuff. the movie 'Stardust' sucked. I watched it today and nearly turned it off half-way through. It just was so obviously geared to kids with the rare approach to interest adults that I just couldn't get truly into the movie, and I am a girl who love watching Disney stuff...so...yea...
More random stuff...a Quiz! (It fits with the theme)
Like chocolate cake, you are friendly, dependable and make a great friend. You're the perfect person to turn to in times of need! |
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| Dinging, PvP, Mounts and...Murlocs? |
[January 03, 2008 @ 5:45pm] |
Ok, well yesterday I had nothing to do...and when I say nothing I mean nothing I mean, -absolutely- nothing. That's a very rare occurance for me. So I decided to treat myself to a full day of WoW. I woke up around 9:00 or so, a little onthe early side for me, but hey, I can't change my internal clock. Anyway, I wok up at 9am and spent 9am until after midnight on the game. What did I accomplaih. A WHOLE lot!
The day started with me hitting th eOutlands for a bit. I lvled myself up until I only had about a block and a half left until I hit 60. It was a tough sacrifice to hold out, but I've had my eye on getting a PvP mount and I still needed AB marks. So, realizing that hitting AB now was my best shot at getting my marks while still having fun, I flew to Shat and portaled to Org (Cause Shat is lag central for me). There I loaded up on arrows and some potions then hit up AB. I had about 14 marks already collected so I needed 16 more. Boy....getting 16 sure was a hassel and I spent half of the day winning and loosing AB to get my marks. It was such a pain since AV turned out to be the daily quest of the day so AB was a bit...barren. Hell, I teamed up with the same people and ran into the same allies SEVERAL times (This one little gnome lock had a vendette against me. XD I killed her so many times that every times she saw me she'd head right at me).
I fianlly got my AB marks Then I hit up AV. Now, I needed 21 marks from AV. IT was quite the challenge. The first 3 times I was in there we kept loosing. I was getting really discouraged cause I wanted my mount by the end of the day, but I kept up with it. And FINALLY the one time I went in the group decided just to plow through straight to th e boss, and we won! This technique went on several times, one time the lack of resources on the ally team won for us instead of us killing Van, but either worked for me. While I was in there I decided to finish up a few AV quests I had and while I was finishing them up, I dinged, in the middle of AV! It was awesome!
FINALLY! I had enough marks (32 WSG 30 AB 32 AV) and I had finished some AV quests! I rode over and purchased my new mount, a Red Skeletal Warhorse. Only one problem I had to go to Silvermoon to get riding training. I I hoped onto the Zep to UC and took the portal to Silvermoon, rode to Farstrider retreat on my chisken and got my training. Of course I couldn't resist just romping around on my new mount, showed it off to the guild leader who's lvl 59 and hungering for a PvP Kodo himself.
All in all it was a very productive day for me. I walked out of the BG's with over 4k honor (almost 5k) and 600+ kills that day.
OH!! While I was off getting my mount and all a very interesting conversation started taking place in the trade channel. People began trying to fit murloc into any movie title they knew. This went on for a good hour or two! I didn't even get half of the conversation, but I figured I share if with you guys.
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[January 02, 2008 @ 8:22am] |
So my New Years eve was a blast! I really enjoyed just having a good 'ol hang-out with friends and playing games (Magic the Gathering, mainly with a bit of Wii and board games thrown in there). We rung in the New Year and then proceeded to have a good time until 4am. Mo and I cleaned up, got situated for bed, and proceeded to just talk until, probably, about 5am. I woke up at 10 thanks to mother sending me a txt message wondering when I was coming home. Thankfully, not much snow had fallen over night and I was able to leave around 10:30.
I got home, unpacked for the nights fun, and hit up the usual WoW site haunts that I watch before proceeding to hop onto WoW. I attempted to do a few quests, died a few times, continued to do some more, died a few more times then I saw someone looking for one more for Hellfire Ramparts. I figured, what the hell, I have a quest for in there, so I offered to join them. Turned out I was the lowest lvl one in the group. Mind you, at 59, I was only lower by about 2 lvls so it wasn't bad, but I felt like a complete noob! It was my first time in an Outland instance and only the second time dealing with the symbols that are heavily used for instances out there. With a bit of trial and error, I quickly picked up on the meaning of the symbols and how the group worked, so it wasn't bad. Of course though things can't go smoothly. About half way through the instance my bow died one me. 0.o Not a good thing at all! The group I was witht hough was very understanding and allowed me to hearth to Thrallmar and repair it. So I did that, got summoned back, and we proceeded. We plowed through boss one with no problems, got through boss 2 without a hitch, but when we got to the last boss, it was wipe after wipe. We realized that with a group consisting of 2 hunters, a warlock, a rogue and a priest, we were missing a tank. Without that Tank there was no way we could bring down the last boss. Of course, I needed the last boss to finish my quest, but, alas, it seems that quest will have to wait until another time.
After I get out of the instance my GM tells me that they need me at Sunstrider Retreat. Turns out that one of the guild members, who turned 40 recently, was on. We had all pitched in a bit of gold to buy her a mount and she was bout to get it. So I got summoned to Sunstrider Retreat. Lek picked out her mount, a few fun duels ensued, and then we all went our seperate ways.
I decided to his the AH in Silvermoon to see if anything good was up in the AH for mail armor. I ended up finding a nice set of shoulder pads. Not feeling the urge to go get killed numerous amounts of time again while tyring to finish quests I decided to just hang out in Silvermoon and watch as the lowbie chars walked by, or stood and stared at me. While I was there though, a funny yet somewhat wrong convo hit the trade channel. I couldn't resist sharing this.
It amused me at the time considering I was quite tired. From there I went Org where I just lazied about debating on a BG before deciding that it was time for bed. SO I hearthed to Thrallmar, parked my toon in the inn, and called it a night. XD I do have to say that, despite not finishing any quests, I got through more than half of my exp bar. I am now a mere 5 blocks away from lvling to 60! Whoot!
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| Goodbye 2007. Hello 2008! |
[December 31, 2007 @ 3:13pm] |
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Well, it's December 31st. The last day of 2007 and I was forced to waste a good portion of it away at work. Oh how I hate my job. I can't wait to get myself something much more...worthwhile. *Sigh* Oh well, no more lamenting and complaining there. There's nothing I can do about it. I need money and I get paid at my job so there.
Anyway, it appears I will have little to -no- time to spare on WoW today. As of right now I am packing things up and getting ready to head out to a party tonight near school. I am so excited! It'll be a blast, but I'll be sad not to be able to ring the New Year in with my guildies. I'll make sure to toast to them tonight, though, when the ball drops. My WoW New Years resolution is to hit lvl 70 with my BE Hunter. Then, after I achieve that, and while I am waiting for outher guildies to join me up there, I want to start lvling up a new Alt. It'll probably end up being either a mage or a druid. I should also start working on the Alt that is sitting on the Haomarush PvP server. I have a few RL friends on that one and I'd like to spend some time with them.
So, I was wondering, what are some of your New Years resolutions? WoW or not? :)
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| HOMG Cute! |
[December 30, 2007 @ 9:03pm] |
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So yes. I think I found one of the most sickeningly sweet layouts I could find on the web and I have to say...I -love- it! Who doesn't like sweets and all that junk food? So, this layout shall be the first on the year and I am hoping the year rings in good. Now, I am off to go lvl my ass up to 60. If anyone cares to find me, I am on the Nazgrel server by the name of Arista. Send me a Pst!
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| Hey! |
[December 30, 2007 @ 6:30pm] |
So yea, seeing how the New Year is rolling on in after tomorrow, I decided to start the New Year off with getting my LiveJournal back up and running. It's currently going to be in rehaul seeing as I need a new template and all for it but I have a feeling this Journal will turn out to be more of a WoWing journal than anything else. Sure, there will be other posts too about my (boring) life but there -will- be WoW related things here. :)
First WoW thing to announce: I am lvl 59 and that means 1 more lvl until 60 which equals a new mount! I just his the Outlands on Friday when I dinged 58. Sadly I didn't get to enjoy it all that much since I had to leave to go to a party. I only just started lvling there yesterday. I am enjoying it there all too much. By far my favorite quests thus-far had to be when I got to fly around and bomb things. Whoot! What a blast!
I am gonna PvP my ass off in between now and lvl 61 since I have my eyes glued to the PvP skeltal horse mount. I've already go the WSG badges and I am started on the AB and AV ones so it shouldn't be too much longer. AV will probably take me the longest to collect, but...eh...I can deal.
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| Random quiz |
[November 26, 2006 @ 12:59am] |
9", Willow, Dragon
You scored 31 wisdom, 44 bravery, 26 emotional, and 11 martyrdom! |
| A willow wand signifies that you care deeply about emotions, art, and intuition, and that you have a particular knack for charms. Your dragon's heartstring core makes your wand very effective in hexes. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 12% on wisdom |
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You scored higher than 86% on bravery |
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You scored higher than 61% on emotional |
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You scored higher than 9% on martyrdom |
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| This Sucks |
[November 15, 2006 @ 4:33pm] |
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Ok, so yea, I didn't make it into Bat Boy. I....I dunno. I was REALLY wishing I'd get in to the show. I guess I just got my hopes up for a role in the show since I fell in love with the music and the show itself. I think it hurts more because this is the first time I've ever been rejected when it comes to shows. I mean yea I've had experiences where I didn't get the role that I wanted but I've never, ever not been accepted into a cast. It hurts, yes, and I realize that this is something I am going to have to get use to I just got my hopes too high and fell in love with the show too much. It...sucks.
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| Frustration |
[November 15, 2006 @ 10:32am] |
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Ok, so yea, it seems that I only ever post here when I need to vent but as long as it works I don't really care.
Auditions yesterday...well...that's frustration #1 but something I am nnot really up to complaining about. When the list comes out maybe then I'll dedicate a whole post to those. Second frustration is the fact that I am performing my monologue today and don't feel at all ready to do that! I've been so stressed out over auditions and getting as prepared as possible for those that I've been neglecting other things. Not smart I know but I terribly want to get into 'Bat Boy'. As much as I would have loved the role of Shelley at this point I just want a role...any role! The music is fricken amazing and the play is just so different but moving that I -have- to be a part of the cast! I rarely get this passionate about a play. I mean I do get moved to be in one and will work my ass off for it, but for a show like Bat Boy which I feel completely in love with I'd dedicate everything I had to such a show!
Then there's the fact that AFTER my monologue performance I have a performance in Performance Hour with a song I am not very comfortable with yet. I am still bumbling over the words at points and just feel like Ia m not ready to go up in front of an audience with the song. Heather insists that it's coming along beautifully but it won't be fricken beautiful today if I bumble up the words!
On top of that I have a test in Sociology coming up on Monday which I haven't even started to study for! At this point I just want to pass fricken Sociology. Forget about getting on the Deans List at this point! It's sad too considering that I could have had an outstanding semester grade wise if it wasn't for Sociology!
Arg! I just want this damn semester to be the fuck over already!
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| Life Sucks |
[August 31, 2006 @ 8:14am] |
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Here I am again panicking and shaking. I am so physically ill at the moment from my anxiety I feel like I could be sick at any moment. This is getting way out of hands. I don't know what to do with myself. Well, I know what I need to do to fix it but I just don't know what to do. That made no sense....
I need to decide on wheter I want to double major or pick up a minor. Now the question is what should I pick up. I am truthfully not good at anything else. Or at least, nothing that I know about. I am terrible in math, hate history, not a big fan of English but can survive through it, and I am not a big science lover anymore either. I don't know what to do! I feel right now I should just give up but I don't want to let myself do that. I do like college but There just seems like there is nothing out there that was made for me when it comes to mahors.I love Theatre but I don't feel like I am good enough to make a living off of it. I need something else, I just don't know what tha \t something else is and it's driving me i nsane. I don't know how much more I can possibly take!
Then here's the whole money thing if I pick up another major. I'll more thanlikely go for an extra year or so because of pickign one up. Wilkes is so damn expensive I dunno if I could afford to stay an extra year here. I am in such a befuddlement right now that I feel like I am hopeless. I feel like I'll get no where and just continue to go in circles until I just give up. I don't WANT that. I really don't want to give up, I enjoy college. I just don't know what to do.
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| Here I Sit |
[August 29, 2006 @ 8:06am] |
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Alright, so it's 8:06 in the morning and I've been up since 7...again. Once again I woke up to feeling anxious and woozy in my stomach. Definitly not as bad as yeserday morning where I was crying and just sitting on my bed staring out the window trying to clam down. It could also be the weather that's keeping my calmer. For some reason rain relaxs me a bit. It's always been that way with me.
I feel like...I dunno, I feel like I am the only theatre major here (Though I am sure I am wrong) that worries about what the future might bring them? Am I just wasting time and money here being a theatre major? This is making me go mad! I really shouldn't be worrying about it so much to the point that it's making me physically ill but I am! Why can't I stop? ARGH! It's beginning to really piss me off. Thankfully Shelley is going to take me to meet her counselor today and hopefully I'll get in with her sometime soon. I really need someone to talk to. Shelley's been a big help but I need someone else.
I am definitly going to look into picking up a minor. in what yet but I think that might help me cause then I'll have SOMETHING to fall back on should theatre not work out for me. I'd love to pick up secondary education but I dunno if you can take that as a minor or not. I'll have to wait and see.
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| I hate myself |
[August 28, 2006 @ 8:02pm] |
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I really truly hate myself! I fuckin didn't audition! I dunno what to do with myself! I just don't know! What should I do with myself? I am completely baffled. I am sitting here on the phone crying, though my mother doesn't know. She has no idea that I didn't audition and I don't plan on telling my parents. I do have all intentions to audition for Cinderella though. I guess I feel more comfortable singing then I do performing a monologue? I just don't know. Ugh, what the fuck do I do?
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